Snails, olives and other distractions

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According to many websites, blogs and kindle guides, lists are very popular and are bound to increase your traffic flow. With this in mind, and ignoring the advice that the list should really be value laden, I came up with this one.

This week’s Top Ten distractions from writing

1. The need to pop outside (just for a few minutes), to see whether the slugs and snails have eaten the newly planted petunias. Then the battle of spotting them and finding an ethical method of disposal – without anyone seeing.

2. The kettle with its endless stream of tea, coffee and boiled water to add a slice of lemon to.

3. Blogging. The aim to restrict writing and checking the blog once a week fails.There has been a visitor from the Philippines. It is very important and necessary to sit and think about how and why someone who lives that far away has visited.

4. The quiet as the washing machine comes to a stop.

5.The clock speeding up. The minutes seem to have passed quicker than usual.

6. Ping. The phone has just announced that some extremely important communication has arrived. Press in the code, check texts, Gmail, and then Words with Friends scrabble game. What to do with h, e, t, e e, e, t?

7. Hunger and imagined hunger. An early lunch is needed so that all significant plot twists can be jotted down whilst eating a tuna roll and pasta salad. A small bowl of black olives might help too.

8. The urgent need to pop to the local garden centre to investigate whether they sell organic, safe to scatter, slug pellets. Also enjoying finding related articles on snails! See below.

9. Lists. Today’s list of things to do has been ignored for at least two hours. In the kitchen, switching the kettle on, the list appears to have only one job ticked off. The list is too over whelming and enthusiastic in its content. Fold it up, put it away and write a new one.

10. Lastly, the books on the shelf are piling up above the computer, they may well fall down. It may be necessary to take that new shiny copy of ‘The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie’ and put it somewhere safe. It does look good, memory is so bad it’s difficult to remember it properly. Swivel feet up onto bed, shuffle a little until the pillow is precisely where it is required, and open the first page.

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